gimmethemap | 101

And that is...?

There are mermaids.

Don't be preposterous. There are not.

I'm telling you there are.

[Something plunking into water, vapid giggling.]

They don't like me.

[Something snide in the background, not fully audible.]

Hey, shut up!

[laughter]

Have you tried shooting at them?

I'm not gonna shoot the mermaids. That's bad luck.

No, it isn't.

Do you need me to come by?

It'll also taint the water.

You're cute. They might listen to you.

I really don't think that will do the trick.

I'm kind of at a loss here.

[more sneering in the background. Morgan sighs]

[With a disgruntled sigh, West starts on after Morgan]

[When West finds her at a nearby lagoon, she's standing on the shore with her arms crossed in a stubborn but self-conscious manner. She's never been so near to a body of water and looked so distasteful of it -- or rather its inhabitants, presently sunning themselves on the rocks near the falls and on the shore. They're honest-to-God mermaids, and think very little of Morgan. Every time she chances near enough that she might take up a gourd of water, they crowd the shoreline and hiss at her.]

[West stares at the mermaids in a state of disbelief]

Well, this is...

[He shakes his head and walks over to Morgan]

I feel like I'm in Never Never Land. [Then, with a small sigh, he moves closer to the gourd of water]

[Morgan hands it to him and takes a step back, gesturing for him to give it a try, and of course the minute he steps into focus the mermaids crowd again, though with renewed interest. Some giggle, others peep from behind rocks coquettishly, while bolder ones come up on the rocks and lean close.]

Are you a sailor? [one asks]

[Morgan rolls her eyes so hard it's a wonder someone doesn't hear them clacking in her head]

[West can't help but stare at the... indecency displayed at him-- not that he's particularly interested, so much as... well, surprised.]

No, I'm a soldier.

[He holds the gourd up]

May I?

[The mermaid that had spoken shot him a sly look, glancing back at her sisters crowding at her shoulder before casually examining her nails.]

What will you give us in return, pretty soldier?

[Morgan is taking a minute to look amused at him.]

[He's really not too keen on getting close to these women; he'd read enough stories about what mermaids were meant to do: drown men]

Well. I could get you something from land. [He's really trying to smile now, friendly-like] What do you fancy?

[The mermaids' eyes seem to widen with interest, and they turn and confer with one another, whispering in low, hissy voices, then turn back to him, excited but subdued, as though they worry about being overheard.]

We like pretty things.

[More giggling.]

Find us pretty things. Your man-woman can help you.

[Morgan glowered.] Hey, shut up.

[West suppresses a laugh]

Alright. We'll start right now.

[He looks over at Morgan and arches his brow]

Shall we?

[Morgan shoots him a forbidding look when it looks as though he might laugh.]

Fine.

[She walks with him and once they're out of earshot she glances back.]

This is why I don't have many female friends.

[He's barely holding back a teasing smile]

This makes me wonder why I don't keep more.

[Now, onto business before Morgan decides to throttle him for that]

Pretty things... pretty things... hmmm. I don't suppose a feather from a tropical bird would do it?

I think they're probably vapid enough to take anything with bright colors or that shines. [She looks around] Though come to think of it you should pick something that's not the same color as anything around the lagoon. [She snickers a little.] I told you they'd listen to you.

So... red, then. [He looks up in the trees, to see if any birds are about, then down at the ground for feathers. He shrugs, a bit uncomfortably] I don't know why that is.

[Morgan glanced at him.] Because you're charming and English. That's a commodity just about everywhere in the world.

[He smiles a little] It's quite common where I come from, actually.

Yeah, you can't really pass yourself off as the guy with the cute English accent when everyone else has got it, huh? [She pushes her hair out of her face and looks up at the trees.] Y'know I used to love weather like this, but the Barge is so much cooler most times that it kind of bugs me now.

Not really. Perhaps that's why I've attracted myself an American.

[He glances at her]

Isn't this the sort of weather you came from?

Yeah, but I've been on the Barge for over two years, now. We don't stop in these places very often. Closest thing on the Barge to weather like this is the pool room, which I haven't been going to as much lately. [She shrugs] Not that I'm complaining. It's my own fault for getting so out of touch.

Hm. This is all a bit too warm for me to enjoy permanently, but it feels like the sort of holiday destination I'd have enjoyed, so... [He stops and looks up to see a large, red-breasted toucan sitting in the trees]

[In a hushed whisper] There it is.

[Morgan starts to speak but quiets herself when he stops short, looking ahead. She sees the bird right away -- it looks unusual but that's par for the course here.]

[She leans close and whispers back] How do you want to go about this?

I don't know; I've never tried to catch a bird before. [He thinks for a moment] I think they eat fruit. Do we have anything to lure it down?

Not unless you picked some today.

[She looks around, and seeing a tree close by with masses hanging from it, edges over and pulls out her knife to cut one down quietly. It looks like a mango, but it's a weird color -- more bluish. She tosses it to West.]

[He looks at the mango]

If we dig a hole and place a bit of foliage on top, then leave a piece of this, do you think the bird will fall in? Of course, we'd have to trap it quickly, before it has a chance to fly..

[Morgan gave him an 'are you serious?' look] Y'know this is an awful lot of work just to appease a bunch of women.

[Now he frowns. HIS PLAN WAS AS BRILLIANT AS HIS RAPE PLAN]

I don't care about the women; I want to drink some water, and I'd rather not have to fight off creatures whose sole purpose is to drown my gender in the nearest body of water.

[Morgan sighs.] I'd sooner look for something that'd scare them away than appease them, is all.

I told you to shoot at them.

...Mermaids?

Yeah. Mermaids.

Did you lecture them about public indecency and the faults of cross-breeding?

No. And if you see any, you stay away from them, kid. Do you hear me?

I don't appreciate being called kid. My parents gave me a name before getting neck deep in neglect.

It's not like I wanted to come on this shitty vacation anyway.

You don't want to be called 'kid' then stop whining like one.

And I mean it. They're dangerous.

Okay, okay. Stay away from the fish-women, got it. I'll wander around the forest instead.

101 - [Voice]

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teenage defiance, lul.

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