gimmethemap

[She winces] Yeah, I deserved that. But I'm asking because Jim wouldn't have bothered you so much before the last flood if it weren't still a problem. [clasps her hands together] Look, I know I've been terrible to you lately -- neglectful would be putting it kind, and I'm not going to make excuses. I've got my own problems and as your Warden it's my job to make sure those don't get in the way of your recovery. You're only my second Inmate, and it's taken this much for me to realize I'm no good when the trouble hits too close to home. So I'm sorry; I've wronged you, and I'm going to do what I can to make up for it. All right?

[He's not particularly moved-- or, if he is, he's not showing it. Far as he's concerned, she doesn't get off this easily] Right. Because when trouble hits too close to home, suddenly somebody else's Inmate takes priority. If all it takes for me to make progress here is to say 'I'm fine' then I'll just keep doing that, and you keep playing homemaker with Charlie.

I was starting to think you didn't need me.

[It's no excuse, but that's not what she says it for. Though she understands his anger she perseveres. It's tough not to just leave it at that, but she kind of deserves to have it hard right now.]

And if that was all it took, you'd be out of here already. Why do you think I brought up all of this the last time we got together? I'm taking steps; I just took the wrong ones first. If you want to get mad, you do that. You have a right to be angry; if you learned anything since coming here, it should be that.

[He leans into the doorway between the kitchen and the living room] My feelings don't require your approval.

Then talk about them and stop telling me you're fine. You're not. You just carry yourself like you have to be. You don't. That's not what you're here for.

Why should I open up to you? 'I'm fine' was always good enough before!

I thought you needed your space, and you being comfortable was more important at the time.

And then after that? Don't lie to me. You were more interested in helping Charlie than me. He needed space, too, but that didn't stop you from running after him every chance you got, while I was facing my own problems.

You're right. I took a vested interest. Started when Rube had to disappear for a while and didn't really go away. And the truth is he's easier to deal with. He's young, stupid, scruffy -- a lot more like people I handled at home.

You, Major? You're older than I am, and in some ways you're a lot smarter -- the sort that back home always kinda set my teeth on edge. Reasonable, if not a tad squeamish about silly things. And you're also the first Inmate I've had that hasn't tried to kill me. You say you only see me when you've done something wrong, and that's because I have a better idea of what I'm doing when you're angry.

[Her brow creases.]

But I haven't completely ignored you. I'm sorry you feel that way.

Yes, you have. [He scowls] And if you can't figure out how to deal with me, then perhaps you and Rube ought to trade.

[She sits back, for a minute some of that guilt replaced by indignation] Since Jim got here? The reason why you didn't see his journals or any comments from him after your first little spat? [points at herself] My doing. I only lifted them eventually because I thought the both of you had taken the time to cool off. Him dressing as Crane wasn't something I expected, and I took both him and Crane to task for it. And at the colony? The only reason I got caught in the first place, the only reason I was infected, the only reason I had to put you in a position to decide whether to kill me or let me go and potentially endanger everyone is because I ignored orders to retreat and went looking for you. [She takes a breath.] Just because you don't see me working doesn't mean that I'm not.

[After a pause, he says in a very calm voice] You're right. You do everything but directly address things with me. [And then his expression darkens] Don't expect me to thank you. I've had quite enough of that.

You said that you wanted space. I've done my best to give it to you.

[When she folds her arms it's caught somewhere between her argumentative stance and a gesture of self-consciousness.]

You want me to address things directly? Fine. I spoke to Jim an hour ago, about every disgusting thing he said to you after the flood. I showed him his own words and demanded to know where the Hell he got off condemning you for something you almost allowed to happen when he turned around and did it himself. He had no words, and he will not bother you again. If he does, if he openly provokes you, I expect you to tell me, but I want to make it clear that it is highly doubtful that I'll stop you from breaking the little shit's face.

Also? How do you like your quarters?

[He clenches his fists and his jaw tightens, although the rest of his body language remains typically rigid and proper] I don't care about Jim.

Then what? What would you like to have addressed, Major West? Or are you going to just stand there and tell me you're "fine" again? If you want me to be direct with you, then it goes both ways. You don't wanna open up, then I can go right back to handling my business with you all quiet-like and discreet.

Maybe I want you to notice when something's wrong, instead of being so thick as to take everything at face value! You didn't even talk to me about how that 'therapy session' with him might have affected me; you just went right back to whatever the hell it is you've been doing lately! As for my not seeing certain entries in the journals-- I already knew you did that, because you did it against my will, and I don't see how that helped at all. And you should have followed orders at Port in the first place!

[He's dimly aware of the kettle whistling now. He turns his back on her now and goes back to the kitchen to turn the stove off.]

I think I'm well enough now to move on. You can have fun with the others. Just tell the Admiral whatever it is you need to.

[She rolls her eyes at the very idea.]

Would you have followed orders if our situations had been reversed back there, Major? Did you? You still came for me.

[He snatches a cup and sets it down on the counter, then looks at Morgan like he's not really sure if he wants to get one for her, too.]

I was placed in charge of everybody's welfare. I made the orders. Were I in your position, I would have followed them. Not doing so needlessly and recklessly endangered others.

[Yup, he's turning this around on her, out of spite and hurt, mainly. He's still upset with himself, for doing the very thing he's accused her of. But, since he's a master at not dealing with his own problems, and he really can't stand it when people get too close to his more vulnerable side...]

I want to be reassigned. Preferably with a Warden who won't ignore me the moment they become infatuated with somebody else. [And this is what he always does, really, cut himself off, become cold, and shut down so that he doesn't have to feel upset]

Edited 2008-11-07 06:26 (UTC)

That sounds a lot like the things you were saying about yourself when we first got back, Major.

[She watched him; he was stubborn, and so was she, but she didn't want to take all that he said here at face value. She was looking for a place where he'd begin to crumble. ...And then he asks to be reassigned.]

You want a Warden who won't ignore you, or you want one that won't make you talk to them? [raises an eyebrow]

I want a Warden who won't actively seek out to help somebody else while only going so far as to tell me to 'Ignore him and he'll go away' for my own problems!

[Snaps] Heaven forbid I expect you to have learned to act like an adult when it comes to your confrontations on the barge!

[And now he's lost his temper, and his voice raises] You are being deliberately obtuse! I'm talking about the energy you expend to take care of an Inmate who's not even your responsibility! I'm talking about the half-arsed effort you put into helping me with my problems as compared to how much you chase after Rube and Charlie's coattails!

I'm not being -- obtuse. My point is I happen to expect more of you than I do other people. [damn geometrical terms -- she tilts her head] And are you the Marquis' Warden? You run to his quarters every time someone turns around and decks him for something stupid he's done.

Would you like to know the difference between me and you? [Shouting now!] I DON'T HAVE AN INMATE! And his Warden hardly does anything-- can you say the same for Charlie's?

Do you seriously do everything for him simply because his Warden won't?

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