112 - Filtered to Wardens

[gimmethemap]

He's not going backwards, but what the Hell am I supposed to do when he won't move forward?

He doesn't want to graduate -- he's not hurting anyone now, but I don't doubt he'd do anything, including backslide, if it'd mean ensuring he stays here and keeps things the way they are.

[Private to the Admiral]

Look, I can't approach this from the same heading anymore.

I'm doing the best that I can, but you've got to give me more to offer him, Admiral. Some glimpse of what's outside, or even that you've made good on your promise to him. Anything.

Comments

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[thatlibbychick.livejournal.com]

You can send him to me for an appointment, although I'm not sure how much it would help. Psychologists are supposed to remain distant from their patients outside of sessions for a reason.

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[gimmethemap]

Thanks for the thought, Libby. But you're right that he could probably use somebody a little less involved.

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[thatlibbychick.livejournal.com]

I'll probably talk to him informally over the journals, for what it's worth. He needs to see that even if you live your whole life badly, choosing to do the right thing in the end does matter...even if it doesn't seem like it.

If I had died without doing that, I'd be here as an Inmate. I'll tell him that too, if I need to, so he doesn't think I'm just moralizing to him. He's my friend; I need to do something to help.

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[gimmethemap]

He doesn't want to be a Warden, Libby. He doesn't trust Wardens, and he doesn't believe in the cause.

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[thatlibbychick.livejournal.com]

It doesn't count for anything right now whether he believes in it or not! It's better than graduating, leaving permanently and never seeing Billy again, and if he just stays an Inmate he's eventually going to break. He needs to understand that!

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[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

I want to help. I'm talking to him, for now.

Troll in the dungeon...!

[subtlescience]

You might try keelhauling.

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[gimmethemap]

Oh don't tempt me.

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[subtlescience]

Come now. It'll be fun. We can all make a day of it.

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[gimmethemap]

Sounds a little too 'royal navy' for me, honestly. But thanks for the suggestion.

[onderhaus.livejournal.com]

Need to talk?

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[gimmethemap]

Yeah, kinda. But I'm starting to lose faith in how much good it does him.

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[onderhaus.livejournal.com]

If it weren't possible for him to rehabilitate, he wouldn't be here, right?

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[gimmethemap]

Right.

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[onderhaus.livejournal.com]

Some people take more time than others. You know that.

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[gimmethemap]

I don't know if I've ever been more angry with him than I am right now. That last entry just struck way too many wrong chords with me.

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[onderhaus.livejournal.com]

Well, what're you going to do about it?

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[gimmethemap]

Stay away from him for a little while so I don't do anything drastic.

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[onderhaus.livejournal.com]

Morgan, you've got to set aside your personal feelings here and deal with him.

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[gimmethemap]

That's what I'm doing, Rube. If I just get mad at him, we're both just going to dig in.

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[onderhaus.livejournal.com]

Don't let him go a couple days without a response. He's going to think it's okay to pull his crap.

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[gimmethemap]

I have responded to him, Rube.

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[onderhaus.livejournal.com]

Okay.

[accountsettled.livejournal.com]

Meanwhile, I can't get it out of mine's head that he's better off leaving.

I do not actually know him, and won't pretend to, but there has to be something beyond here he wants.

But he is right when he says it is better than death. Maybe that is just the coward in me speaking, but it is better than death, and I would not deny him, or refute, that opinion at least.

[gimmethemap]

It's not that which troubles me so much as it is the attitude it's fostered in him to do with advancing, here. And how it affects his desire to "repent", as he puts it.

[accountsettled.livejournal.com]

Undoubtedly, but his desire to repent need not be related to how little he wants to die. Surely death is not an inevitablity if he graduates.

[gimmethemap]

Try telling him that. He thinks death is an inevitability if he and Billy don't get to sleep in the same room together.

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[accountsettled.livejournal.com]

...Good Christ, I spent years without seeing my wife at all, and whilst I would not want to be apart from her by free choice, I can accept that it is necessary. I do not know, but sometimes you have to rise above personal emotions and do the right thing, and what needs to be done.